Celebrant Pam Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Please Dress Me in the Warm Color of Blue at My Funeral

Pam Vetter
October 27, 2008

American Chronicle Article

Over the last three years, I've witnessed a real change in what decedents are wearing to their funerals.

When I first started conducting funerals, many of the caskets were closed during the services. If you wanted to see the body, you had to be invited to a private family viewing. Even then, if the caskets were open for a viewing, the decedents were dressed in dark colors, their Sunday best suit or a new dress. Many people felt compelled to go shopping for an appropriate funeral outfit for the decedent. It was a difficult task to shop at the last minute due to the lack of time and the inability of the decedent to try on the clothing for size. If you think it's stressful to shop for the decedent while grieving, that's putting it mildly. But, times have changed.

Today, more decedents are wearing brighter colors, favorite colors and outfits they've actually worn from their closets. Sometimes the decedent has requested a favorite outfit for the funeral, while other times it's the family's choice how they will be dressed.

I think this is a profound, personal change in our acceptance of death.

If Grandpa has died, he's going to be wearing the bib overalls he loved. If Grandma has died, we can't change that, but she's going to be dressed in her favorite red Christmas dress.

Why not?

You might think this is morbid to discuss what I'll be wearing to my own funeral, but it's not. My kids don't really want to see me when I'm dead as I've requested cremation anyway, but if they decide at the last minute to have a viewing, I've told them, "Please dress me in blue at my funeral."

Truth be told, my favorite color has always been purple. However, I only own a couple of purple outfits because the color washes me out. In other words, I look pale in purple. I know, I know… I'll be dead and pale anyway. So, who cares? I care. Remember the old adage, "I wouldn't be caught dead in that." It's the same exact premise at play here. Please don't dress me in purple for my funeral. Have everyone wear a purple memory ribbon – that would look nice with my blue outfit.

The color of blue would best suit me in the casket. Bright blue clothing has always helped to capture the blue of my eyes. I know what you're thinking; if I'm dead my eyes will be closed. Yes, but it's the memory you're creating.

I can hear my girlfriends gabbing by my casket. "She always liked the color blue." "Didn't she own clothing in any other color?" "Doesn't she look beautiful in blue…"

My sister will giggle when she sees me wearing blue. "She said she wanted to be dressed in the color blue, by jove, she's done it. Next thing we'll hear is Barry Manilow singing... She's going to torture us with his songs until the end."

Fortunately, I'm not sold on Barry Manilow songs playing at my funeral yet. But, when it comes to the color I'll be wearing, it should be blue.

When I think of blue, I think of the beautiful blue ocean. It's calming and warm.

Of course, there other colors you could choose to wear for yourself.

Yellow would be nice. When I think of yellow, I think of the warmth of the sun. Yellow makes me smile.

Green would be uplifting, especially for a gardener or someone who liked flowers. When I think of green, I think of nature, the green grass and the outdoors. Green makes me think of Oregon with all of beautiful trees.

Red would be nice as it's a power color. To me it would represent someone who showed strength in life. Red is a bold choice.

I've never seen anyone who was dressed in orange in his or her casket. I don't know why. Orange is a nice color and it reminds me of eating delicious oranges. It also reminds me of autumn and Halloween.

White always seems to be the color of choice for someone who was innocent or young. I think of the winter snow from my Pennsylvania childhood when I see someone dressed in white.

Black is supposed to be the thinning color, but do we really care about someone looking thin in the casket? No, we don't. Black is often a formal, dressy choice. To me, it also represents grief, death and sadness. It's more a standard for the living to wear black to a funeral than to dress the decedent in his best black suit.

I'm certain that all of these colors have real meaning behind them that reach far beyond my reflections.

But, clearly it's something to think about it. If people remember the vision of someone in the casket forever, what would you want them to remember? What is your favorite color?

The bottom line: what color do you want to wear to your funeral?

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